


Smoke

by Phoenix1018



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad Rich Goranski, Supportive Michael Mell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:34:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27926815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix1018/pseuds/Phoenix1018
Summary: Michael and Rich are hanging out, and the smell of a fire brings Rich back to Halloween night
Relationships: Rich Goranski & Michael Mell, Rich Goranski/Michael Mell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Smoke

**Author's Note:**

> Can be seen as platonic or romantic. I think theyre Neat

"I'm just saying, it doesn't make any sense! If most of the characters in Animal Crossing are animals, and there are hamster villagers, why can you get a hamster in a cage?"

Michael gave a sigh. "Rich, please, I'm driving." School had just ended, and Michael was driving Rich to his house, where Rich was going to stay the night. Ever since the Squipcident and the embarrassing encounter they had in the hospital, he and Michael had grown surprisingly close. Things were a bit stiff and awkward between them at first (which was definitely Rich's fault, he  _ had  _ tormented the kid for the better part of two years) but Michael must have seen how guilty Rich felt, because he decided to give Rich a chance, and they were… friends now? Michael seemed to genuinely enjoy Rich's company, and Rich could say the same thing, which surprised him to no end. 

But right now Michael looked like he was one step away from strangling him. "But just think about it." Rich continued. "Why do some hamsters get to walk on two feet and interact with humans, but some hamsters are damned to spin on a wheel in a hamster cage for all eternity? It doesn't add up, Michael."

"Rich, it's a video game, I really don't think it matters."

"You're just too afraid to admit that there's a conspiracy here." 

Michael sighed, and Rich grinned. He loved to push Michael's buttons. "Rich, I've had to hear you talk about animal crossing for the past three hours, I really think you've said your piece."

Michael pulled into his driveway, and they both got out of the car. "You're  _ so  _ boring." Rich complained, leaning against the side of Michael's beat up PT cruiser. "You never want to talk about Animal Crossing with me, you never play along when I tell people that we had sex in the bathroom, and you say that my tiktoks are "concerning"-"

"Because they are, Rich. You can't talk about all your childhood trauma while doing the renegade and expect me to  _ not  _ be worried."

"Whatever." Rich waved his arm dismissively. "The point is, you could try to be a little more interesting once in a while. It would do you some-"

_ Smoke. _

Rich cut off, the smell suddenly hitting his nostrils. He felt himself freeze up, the rest of his sentence dying on his lips.  _ There was smoke.  _

He whipped around, desperately looking for the source.  _ Why was there smoke? _

The house next to Michael's had a family of four sitting in their backyard, and they were all crowded around a fire pit, plumes of smoke billowing from the center.

Michael followed his gaze and scoffed. "Why do the neighbors always have to make their stupid bonfires in the middle of the day?"

Rich could barely hear Michael's words. There was a roaring in his ears, and Michael's words melted in his brain like molasses. He couldn't stop staring at the fire.

_ Smoke. Fire. Screaming. _

Rich could feel his breathing speed up. He took a shaky gulp of air, but he could feel his lungs stinging as the smoke clawed through his chest. 

_ "And how do you plan on stopping me, Richard?" _

_ The shock. The gasoline. _

"- ich? Are you okay?"

_ His chest was on fire, and his lungs ached with every inhale. The flames engulfed him, licking the side of his face and drenching him with searing, hot pain. He couldn't escape.  _

"- try to breathe, Rich, breathe with me-"

_ Breathe? How was he supposed to breathe? The smoke was everywhere, filling his lungs, his chest was burning. He gasped, giving a raspy cough- _

"- you hear me, Rich? It's Michael, you're safe-"

_ Michael. What was Michael doing here? He was going to get hurt. "N-no-" Rich said, his voice trembling, "You ha-have to leave." _

"I'm not gonna leave, Rich. You're at my house, you're safe, you're okay. Just breathe with me."

_ Breathe? Well, if Michael was saying it was safe, it must be. He forced himself to take a gulp of air, but it quickly turned into a hacking cough as the air made his chest sting again. Fuck, he couldn't even breathe right. He should apologize to Michael. _

"Shh, it's okay, Rich, don't be sorry. Slowly, okay? In for four seconds, out for four seconds."

Rich tried again, taking a deep, shuddering breath. He tried to breathe out slowly, but it all came out in a  _ whoosh,  _ followed by another cough. He could feel the constricting in his chest loosen ever so slightly, and he tried another breath, slower this time.

"Good." Michael's voice was louder now, and the roaring in his ears was growing quieter. "Again."

He complied, taking another breath, steadier this time. His surroundings were becoming clearer; he was vaguely aware of the rough concrete beneath his hands and his legs - how did he end up on the ground? - and he could see Michael crouched next to him, his hands held up in a gesture of surrender. "You with me, Rich?" Michael said softly, seeing the glaze in Rich's expression slowly fade.

"I…" Rich's head still felt fuzzy. "What happened?"

"You had a panic attack." Michael said, still keeping his arms raised where Rich could see them. "Was it because of the fire?"

"The…?" Oh yeah. There was smoke. Smoke from a bonfire. A  _ bonfire.  _ And Rich saw it and freaked the fuck out. "Oh, shit." He groaned, putting his head in his hands. What was wrong with him. He couldn't even look at a bonfire without his brain taking him back to  _ that night.  _ God, he was pathetic. And he just had a complete meltdown in front of Michael, one of his only friends who had never judged him, and Michael was gonna know how fucking  _ pathetic  _ he was-

"Hey, stay with me, Rich." Michael said, pulling Rich out of his thoughts.

"Uh. Right." Rich cleared his throat, not meeting Michael's eye. "I'm. Uh. I'm really sorry, man."

Michael tilted his head. "Don't be sorry. Why are you sorry?"

"Well, because you just wanted to hang out and have a good time, and I had to go and ruin it by freaking out for no reason-"

"Hey, hey, Rich." Michael said reassuringly, reaching out and putting a gentle hand on Rich's shoulder. Rich felt himself tense up, but he didn't shrug Michael's hand off. The pressure felt… kind of nice. "I don't care about any of that, okay? All I care about is making sure you're okay."

"But- but the fire was totally safe, there was no reason for me to-"

"You were scared. You went through something traumatic, and seeing the fire reminded you of it again. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, okay?" Michael rubbed his thumb across Rich's shoulder. "I would never be upset at you for something like that. I care about you, Rich. And I'll always be here for you, okay?"

Michael gave him a small smile, Rich swallowed, feeling his heart rate speed up for reasons he didn't think had anything to do with his prior panic. "Okay." He whispered, smiling back. "Now, wanna go inside so I can beat your ass at Mario Cart?"

"In your dreams, Goranski."

  
  
  
  



End file.
